..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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