I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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