ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
