why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
