I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
