I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
