I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
