People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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