if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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