so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
