So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
