I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
