y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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