omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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