So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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