i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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