That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
