Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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