Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
