just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
