If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
