I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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