Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
