Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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