My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Enjoy the penises
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
