yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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