Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
