How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
