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Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i out mim tonsoeep
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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