we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
