Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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