His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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