Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
