Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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