I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Redeem this text for a blowjob
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
