puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
