Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
