Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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