How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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