Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
