Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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