Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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