I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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