Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
