also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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