where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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