yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
