My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
