i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
