There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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