oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
