I heard we made out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
