Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
