How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
